WANTED ALIVE FOR QUESTIONING
$.01 Reward
JIMMY CARTER
BY THE AMERICAN POPULACE OF THE LATE 1970'S FOR HIS ATROCITIES DELIVERED WITH A PASSION THROUGH HIS MALAISE DAYS.
Known Aliases: James Earl Carter, Jr.( James Earl Jones, The Voice Of Darth Vader & CNN, Takes A Deep Offense To Him Using His Good Name), Pride Of The South, Native Son Of The Confederacy, Destructor Of The Democratic Party, Peanut Boy, and Presidential Failure.
Known Associates: Rosalynn Smith Carter, Billy "Billy Beer Drunk" Carter (Now Deceased - RIP), Walter "Admit To The Tax Hike" Mondale, The Planter's Peanut Guy, Al "Fellow Democrat & Legal Weasel" Gore, Gerald "I Beat You Bad To The Point Of Tears & Your Wife Had To Speak For You, But Now We're Good Buddies & Your Name Used To Be Leslie" Ford, And His Habitat For Humanity Enforcers, including TV's Tim Allen.
Last Seen: Building Houses, dedicating his childhood home as a historical site, and attending the George W Bush Inauguration 2001.
If you have seen this man then call your local authorities or the Anti-Carter, Ronald Reagan (He is still very capable. The Alzheimer's is a classic ploy he uses to lull enemies into submission). Do no attempt to confront him yourself he is considered armed with weird failing liberal ideals and is dangerous especially with those Habitat For Humanity guys and their tools. If you make contact with him immediately go home (Don't stop for any gas lines) and check your family & finances to make sure that your family hasn't been taken hostage in the Middle East, Your interest rates and taxes haven't gone up, and your finances aren't depleted! Make contact with him at your own risk!
Jimmy's Dreaded Arch-Nemesis - The Anti-Carter - Ronald "Dutch" Wilson Reagan - Our Savior From The Days Of Malaise. Once he took office, he singled handedly ended the malaise days within a matter of days. Upon completion he enjoyed a nice jar of jelly beans. Mmmmmmm...Jelly Beans. Bless you Ronald & Nancy too.
"Get Carter" Michael Caine is transported to a hellish parallel universe where the Anti-Carter, Ronald Reagan never existed. I know it is a scary thought. A universe where Jimmy Carter somehow got re-elected and served 2 terms that eventually launched Walter "I admit to raising your taxes" Mondale into office for 2 terms, which lead to the subsequent elections of Michael Dukakis, Ted Kennedy, and of course an extreme liberal version of Bill Clinton. Caine undertakes a valiant fight to lead a band of Conservative Republican Rebels (The Same Ones From Florida Election 2000) who include Bob Dole, Newt Gingrich, Rush Limbaugh, Both George Bush's, and the groups enforcer Barbara Bush who goes up against Janet Reno in one of the movies most exciting climactic scenes like something right out of the Matrix to end the malaise days of a Jimmy Carter! There is also an exiting scene where William " The Vampire" Christopher goes up against James "The Slayer" Baker. The ending is a shocker when you see Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton create the worlds largest international conglomerate out of their swanky $700,000 Manhattan office paid for by the taxpayers, and the new president is.... Yep you guessed it Michael Caine, who finds out that he is actually Ronald Reagan who was separated from his family at birth, and taken to our universe by a time traveling Richard Nixon who thought he would be a threat someday. I give this movie 5 stars for star power, action, adventure, intrigue, plot twists, science fiction, and more.
Starring:
Michael Caine as Ronald Reagan from a parallel universe.
Dan Aykroyd as Jimmy Carter.
Chevy Chase as Gerald Ford.
Bill Clinton as himself.
Mindy Cohen as Barbara Bush.
Arnold Swarzenegger as Janet Reno.
Bruce Willis as Freedom Fighter John McClain
